To Test or not to Test?

I am constantly guessing and reguessing this process. To Test or not to Test? That is the question! If I had let the Dr.'s convice me that given my particular set of circumstances, that there was NO WAY that I could have cancer...then I'd probably be much much worse off and not have found the cancer(s) as early as I did. On the other hand, ignorance being bliss, maybe not knowing anything at all would have been fabulous and I could have just lived life until...well, until. In any case, the protocall is that I get tested once every 6 months. But, because there are various tests available, through different Dr.s I have the 'ability' to be tested almost any month of the year. MRI, mammo, ultrasound, CT upper and lower and so forth. But, with the constant re-assurance that indeed there is nothing there comes the almost unbearable stress that indeed there might be something. Take this last exam for example. A CT of the Thorax, Abdomen and pelvis with contrast. During the exam I noted to the technician that I was feeling an ache in my right side when I fully inflate my lung. Now, I've had this sine the end of radiation and thought is might be some collateral damage form the treatment. But, I think because I mentioned it, they took a close look. Now, let me interject that I have told every doctor who would listed about this ache. I even had my radio oncologist look at the last ct for himself for assurance, but, there it is in black and white..."there is a focal cortical lucency of the right 3rd rib in the anterior axillary line that is stable since 10/15/09 CT without adjacent soft tissue mass. This is nonspecific and would not exclude neoplastic or prior posttraumatic lesion. Consider bone scan if needed." Now, let's review my history...there's something there...there's something there...there's something not right right HERE! Three years of insisting that they should look harder for whatever it is that was in there...so, my experience is that unless I am hypervigilant, they wont find 'it'. Whatever 'it' is...I feel like if I don't find it then they won't look hard enough either. That's a lot of pressure on a non-doctor regular old person. Too much. So, of course I made literally 6 phone calls...one to the radiologist reading the exam, on the the oncologist, and one to the radio oncologist. Then, just to be extra sure...one to the nurse practitioners of all those doctors too. I'm exhausted...not just from fighting this fight, but also from having to be my own advocate and fight so hard for someone to pay attention. Undoubtedly the standard response tot his test will be that because there is no change in this 'lesion' that it is 'nothing', but I want to be really SURE that it's nothing, not something...so I am the loudest patient in Phoenix right now...and hopefully all this will be for 'nothing' and I can sleep well tonight. Perhaps if I did no testing and just went about the living part, I would not be as tourtured by worry, but then perhaps I'd be shorting the living part ever so much hastening me to the potentially dying part. So, to test I go...